


Death, the Day After.

by shannonsaid



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2020-02-23 21:26:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18710269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shannonsaid/pseuds/shannonsaid
Summary: Endgame spoilers ahead.Read at your own risk.





	Death, the Day After.

**Author's Note:**

> Endgame spoilers ahead.  
> Read at your own risk.

"You sacrificed yourself."

Natasha hear the words as if from far away.

"You didn't have to. You could have let the other die, but you didn't. You saved him, only to sacrifice yourself."

The words were growing louder, but they was still a fog surrounding them. Making them hard to comprehend.

"The stone requires a soul, but no soul has ever been so freely given.

The stone. Thanos. Barton. The Avengers.

"James." His name was nothing more than a breath on her lips, but it was still a breath.

But she died. She was supposed to be dead.

"How --" She coughed on the air that was slowly filling her lungs. Her heart started pounding in her chest. Her eyes flew open.

She was alive.

She heard the gentle splash of waves behind her and spun around to find the Stonekeeper floating above the water she was sitting in.

"Did we win?"

That was more important than how she was alive. If she was really alive.

"Yes," he answered, "and no."

She should've expected his answer. Expected his riddle.

Shaking her head, she dismissed his answer, and asked her next question. "Am I alive?"

He nodded.

"How? A soul for the stone. That's what you said. That's the price we had to pay."

The rules had been clear. One in exchange for the other.

"The stone has been returned," he replied. "And so have you."

Natasha's eyebrows disappeared into her hairline. Things like the soul stone didn't have gray areas. They were always just black and white.

Before Natasha could ask more questions, the Stonekeeper turned his back to her, the water rippling behind him.

"Your ride," he gestured beside them, just as a ship came into view.

Natasha watched the ship land, recognizing it immediately. She should've been surprised, but found she wasn't. She was more relieved than anything else.

Pushing herself up from the water, she slowly made her way toward the ship.

The ramp was already down and waiting for her when she approached.

"Natasha," a voice called from the top of the ramp, "it's been awhile."

She couldn't help the small smile that slid its way onto her face at the sound of her name being called. She had been so certain she'd never hear it again.

"Rocket." The smile was still in place when she turned away from Vormir and its memories, and faced him.

Rocket folded his arms across his chest, "aren't you supposed to be dead?"

"Supposed to be," she shrugged, not wanting to elaborate on things she still didn't understand herself. "What're you doing on Vormir?" She asked, joining him at the top of the ramp.

Rocket's eyebrows furrowed. "I got your distress signal."

"My distress signal?" She repeated, her own eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

They all had certain signals they had created when they had disappeared across timelines. A way to call out or leave information if something went sideways. But up until ten minutes ago, Natasha had been dead.

"You didn't send the signal?"

There was accusation and mistrust in Rocket's voice and Natasha didn't blame him. If their roles were reversed, Natasha would be reacting the same way.

"I'm real. I'm alive." She said, as much to convinced him as herself. "I don't understand how, but I am."

Rocket stared at Natasha in silence, and Natasha felt the hair on the back of her neck prickle. If Rocket didn't believe her, he'd leave her behind, and she'd be stuck on Vormir with no one but the Stonekeeper for company.

"I told you once, that you and I weren't that different." Her voice cracked, both with pain at the memory, and with fear that it wouldn't be enough to convince him she was really Natasha. "I told you that I had been pulled apart and put back together so many times that I wasn't always sure who I was."

Rocket's face visibly softened. "Natasha."

He unfolded his arms and gestured for her to follow him onto the ship. "It's just me," he said, answering her unasked question. "The rest stayed behind on the Milano."

"Did they know the distress signal was mine?"

"That's the thing, you only sent it to me." He glanced over his shoulder and up at her. "I figured you had your reasons, what with being dead and all."

Natasha had been dead, but she wished Rocket would stop reminding her. It wasn't something she was ready to think about. It wasn't something she'd ever really be ready to think about.

Reaching the bridge, Natasha finally asked the one question that had been burning a hole in her since she came back.

"Rocket, did we win?"

Rocket sighed, his face thoughtful and sad. "Did we get everyone back? Is Thanos gone?" He nodded. "Did we win? Sure, but we lost too."

Natasha's heart thundered in her chest. The sound loud enough for her to heart it. "Who?"

He reached out and touched her hand. A gesture that told Natasha she wasn't going to like his answer.

"Stark."

Natasha felt the word like a physical bow. Her knees gave out from under her and she crumpled into the nearest chair.

Stark was gone.

The reality of Rocket's admission shattered Natasha's heart. 

She always felt a little less alone and a little more understood with Stark around. He was someone whose self hatred and loathing rivaled her own. He was someone who understood that, no matter how many times they helped save the world, they'd never seem themselves are heroes.

Tony had known what it was like to have sins you could never truly atone for. Knew what it felt like to know you didn't deserve happiness, but to also crave it.

Natasha felt another pang in her heart as another realization hit her. Stark was gone, just like she had been, but unlike Stark, Natasha was back. What made her life more important than Tony's? Why did she get a second change and Tony didn't?

"Natasha."

She heard the word from far away, but this time she recognized the voice.

She pulled herself out of her pain and found Rocket looking at her in concern, his hand still on hers.

"How long?" The words came out as a croak.

"Two months." He squeezed her hand one, before stepping back to give her space. "Everyone's apart, but still working together. I guess we're all kind of Avengers now," he shrugged sadly.

Rocket remained silent, as he climbed into the pilot's chair, giving Natasha time to compose herself as best she could, before asking where they were headed.

Natasha was quiet for a long time, trying to decide what her next move should be. She knew she wasn't ready for everyone to know she was back, especially with the loss of Stark being so recent. She also knew she wasn't ready to be part of the Avengers again. Maybe she never would be. Captain America may have been their leader, but the Avengers had always truly belonged to Iron Man. The Avengers were Iron Man.

And even though Natasha wanted to see James again, more than she was willing to admit, she also knew she didn't deserve that happiness. At least not yet.

That left one choice.

"Earth," Natasha finally answered. "Anywhere on Earth where the Avengers are not." She shook her head, stopping Rocket's questions before he could ask them.

She had sins to try and atone for, wrongs she needed to right. She couldn't do that as Natasha Romanoff, Avenger, but she could do that as Natasha Romanoff. And as long as she kept her head down, as long as no one looked to closely, she could remain Natasha Romanoff until she felt worthy enough to be Natasha Romanoff, Avenger, again.

Rocket nodded. "Earth it is."

Second chances were real. Natasha was was living proof, and she would do everything she could to be worthy of hers.


End file.
